#but i feel like ive been vague enough
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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Hey so you know Sunless Skies. Are you aware of the secret fourth Ambition? If so, there's something about it which haunts my dreams and has for years, and I need to spread the brainrot. If not, disregard this message, I don't want to give unsolicited spoilers. Sorry if the nature of the ask is in and of itself a spoiler.
i am indeed aware of it!!! i'm planning on pursuing it once i finish my current ambition in my current (and first) playthrough (the truth. i'm doing the truth as my very first ambition. because i apparently love to suffer and simply cannot do things by halves.)
#im currently playing sskies at an excruciatingly slow pace#bc like most video games i have it sitting on the steam library shelf until im in the mood to play it for 5 straight uninterrupted hours#and i dont touch it for a second sooner or longer#(blame the adhd on that one)#but i dont mind spoilers as long as they're vague or just completely batshit insane enough#especially in a setting like FL. which feels tailor made for that sort of thing#ask#sunless skies#i should talk about my sskies playthrough more often tbh..#i feel like i mention it literally every time this game comes up (which admittedly isnt that often)#but it is technically a non-canonical spinoff of scoundrel lore#i really really really enjoy what ive played so far. a good majority of my playtime (like. 20 or 30 hours already?)#has just been running around doing inventory management fetch quests#it just brings joy to my little autistic heart i guess
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44 mickvince something mafia related plbs ill love you forever sorry for being so demanding 🥺
[not sure if this is what you intended but here you go]
---Two weeks before the wedding---
While the whole city of Naples was asleep, Michele was sitting at the pier under the crescent moon and cloudless sky. The night was unusually quiet, and all that could be heard was the sound of the waves lazily going back and forth against the shore.
“How does it feel, Vincé?” Asked Michele in monotone, after Vincenzo sat down next to him.
“What do you mean?”
“Your wedding with Arianna. Have you already forgotten?”
“No, I haven't.” Vincenzo looked up to the sky, spotting a few stars. “But I'm not really enthusiastic about it, you know? I barely know her.” He added, shrugging, turning towards Michele, staring at his icy blues.
The other man turned around and sighed.
“I think she feels the same, too.” Continued Vincenzo, gazing at the sea. “We're getting married just to please our parents, after all.”
Michele stayed in silence.
“What's wrong, Miché?”
“Nothing, it's just...” Michele exhaled. “I don't know what I'm going to do after you get married and move there. Maybe I should just... Get it over with already.” He suddenly got up, but Vincenzo stopped him, seizing his arm.
“Don't even try to think about it!” The blond raised his voice.
Michele stared at him, saying nothing, the corners of his eyes filling with tears.
Vincenzo moved his hand to Michele's. “Ti amo, Miché. I always will.”
The raven-haired man brought his fingers to Vincenzo's cheek, before the blond got closer and pressed his lips against Michele's.
---One week before the wedding---
“Ciao.” Said a boyish familiar voice.
“Ciao...” Michele sighed, without diverting his gaze from the sea. “How's the nose, Vincé?”
“Not as bad as the other day, I think it's healing.” Informed Vincenzo, sitting down next to Michele.
“It's all my fault.” Murmured Michele. “I'm sorry.” He turned towards the blond, whose hazel eyes were glistening under the moonlight.
Vincenzo frowned. “No way! Why would this be your fault?”
“You got beaten up by your father because he saw you hanging out with me! The real question is, how is this not my fault?” Michele's blue eyes began to become watery. “I should just... We should just stop seeing each other, before one of us ends up dead!”
Vincenzo exhaled. “Miché, don't say that...” He rested his hand on Michele's shoulder. Michele took Vincenzo's hand on his and squeezed it.
A gunshot was heard in the distance.
“We should go home. Now.” The dark haired man said, looking at the blond boy in the eyes.
---Two nights before the wedding---
Michele was feeling restless: it was three in the morning and Vincenzo still had to show up. He was shivering, despite it being a summer's night in Naples. He felt like something bad had happened to his lover.
He shot a glance back at the coast: he never felt so happy to be proven wrong, as he realized that Vincenzo was running towards him.
Michele got up and pulled the blond boy in his arms, hugging him and kissing his face all over. Vincenzo squeezed him just as tight. “Sorry for being late. I was worried someone was following me and I took the longer way.”
“Grazie a Dio you're here, Vincé.” The other whispered.
“Listen,” Vincenzo detached himself from Michele, “I am so tired of living like this.”
Michele blinked, a worried expression painted on his face.
“I don't want to get married to Arianna, I can't take being a criminal anymore...” Continued the blond, “and more importantly, I can't stand being away from you for just one more minute.”
“Vincé, where are you going with this?”
“I want to run away with you, Miché!” Vince took Michele's hands in his.
“But where?! You know they're gonna find us no matter where we go!”
“Not if we take the cargo ship to America.”
Michele widened his eyes.
Vincenzo grinned.
“You're crazy, you hear me?” Michele threw his arms up in the air. “Pazzo!”
“So, are you in?”
Michele hesitated. “If I had to choose between staying here without you and the possibility of dying at sea with you…” He said in the end, smiling. “I still would choose you.”
---One night before the wedding---
The first sun rays of the morning had still to come out as Vincenzo and Michele embarked on the first cargo ship to the United States of the day, hoping for a new chance at life.
Put That Guy in a SituationTM Ask Game/Prompt!
#witchy's ask booth#witchy writings#vince neil#mick mars#mötley crüe#hey sorry for being so late!!#this is not my finest work. im so sorry#but ive been trying so hard to fight writers block and burnout. this is all i could do unfortunately#maybe ill elaborate the concept more later because i really like it#i tried to experiment a little more here giving short flashes and leave it vague rather than building up a more fleshed out story#bc it wouldve been too long otherwise and i didnt feel ready for that tbh and as i said i might elaborate on it on a later time#also its not really direct about the mafia thing bc that topic hits too close to home for me but yknow. its implied#the names the setting the fact that vince gets beaten up or when he talks about being a criminal...#i feel like there are enough pieces to put together the context#anyway i really hope you enjoy it regardless of how i feel about it
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came to a better understanding about my gender identity but theres still the elephant in the room (do i find men attractive. who knows. comically large question mark in the corner of my eye)
#i think my genders been vague for long enough ive finally been able to clear it up? maybe#i think i might be bigender with both demiboy and demigirl being the 2 because. i feel like both but theres only the partial feeling#but overall i think nonbinary is just the easier label#so. i can get more specific now but overall ill still just say im nonbinary for simplicity#meanwhile i havent figured out shit about what i was supposed to be figuring out. still trapped in the fucking building
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need 2 isolate myself and unfriend everyone #asap
#this guy who is still my friend i guess annoys me and ive been avoiding him and he confronted me and cried yesterday and i felt bad but more#ab the situation than our friendship because he puts himself into places without friends by being judgy and rude and wondering why ppl dont#wanna stick around him idk. i guess we're still cool but he clings onto me and its really annoying bc i want him to stop but i dont want to#be rude and hes just getting on my nerves and ik its bad to be like annoyed w ur friends but i literally just .our energies dont match and#its so exhausting to be near him so i need to do the right thing and tell him the truth and let him decide if he wants to cling on more or#not but i already did that tbh yesterday like. i told him i genuinely dont have the energy to match his and he asked 'when can we go back to#being normal' ?? i just said i felt better and comfortable being more alone and off than w him cant he stop. do i need to break his heart#hes really intelligent and hes able to tell these signs so idk why hes so hellbent on being stuck on me when ive literally said he tires me#cant he leave me alone. i already feel bad enough for feeling this way but last yr i didnt get to have any other friends irl bc he would#just cling on and drag or follow me and i barely had time to spend with anyone else and im stuck in a club i dont care for now bc he kept#pushing. like two or three of then actually idk why he cant just understand i dont want this nor any codependency w him anymore when ivebeen#like telling him already#sorry i have tutoring soon but im exhausted and feel horrible but whatever ill be fine etc i just need him to stop#on a brighter note. idk. im going to disney soon#post#vent#to delete#my lover please come home . only person i can admit my feelings directly to !. not on a vague tumblr post lmfao#/nbh btw obv bc why would i post it if it was#i need to play genshin kaedehara kazuha save me please give me a big fat kiss now
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I'm so fucking tired of ppl assuming I'm a teenage boy I'm not that young and I'm not a guy and it's funny when it happens occasionally and I'm in an amiable mood and idm being a little gnc ik I present somewhat masc even if its not rly intentional and ik my autistic/adhd mannerisms make me come across a little childish sometimes even if im constantly masking at work or in public and I can't control how other ppl perceive me and ik its natural for the human brain to make social assumptions all the time bc there's so much information going in and out it has to process so it automatically categorises shit so I don't mind it happening OCCASIONALLY but I've been getting so fucking many unnecessary comments lately and not just from strangers but ppl I know too and if one more person says some offhand shit to me I'm going to black out and bite until there's blood leave me the fuck ALONE
#got home and im so so so angry its not even that big a deal i dont even get annoyed when it happens every now and then#but these last few weeks ive had a fucking deluge of weird comments abt my age and my gender i dont fucking know why its happening more#and ive had enough im abt to snap. its been on the back of my mind as a vague irritation but it just keeps fucking building#so much stupid shit i cant even list it all here and its not just ppl mistaking me but sometimes going out of their way to be rude#and the fucking misogynistic shit ppl keep saying to me too especially at work please fuck off forever and die#i dont wanna get into it bc ill just get more pissed off im just gonna go cry in the shower and then ill be fine after#probably just feeling it more today bc i didnt take my afternoon meds anyway. altho this isnt the only time its upset me so.#ugh whatever..... its out of my control. and im not gonna go out of my way to try and conform more easily to other ppls ideas of me#bc im comfortable in myself and my body and with how i present so im not going to change that. just tired of dealing with assholes#and im tired of constant misunderstandings its much more than this superficial assumptions abt appearances like ppl who know me keep#making wrong assumptions or miscommunicating or just general poor judgement and that bothers me way more but its much harder to express#so im just getting more angry at the superficial shit as a proxy for it. ugh!!!!#well anyway. hopefully theres enough hot water left for me i want a scalding shower#grinds my teeth so loudly#.diaries#.vent
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Feeling sick! Like emotionally and whatnot
#😓#no bc i know there is something wrong with me. but christttt what is wrong with me ya know 😩😩😩 ????#i just feel like throwing up and killing something but i have this weird terrified energy within me that prevents me from like ???#doing anything at all atp#ive been doing better this week. ive even been wroting again. but the core emotion and wrongness isnt gone at all#ive just learned how to work around it#but i hate hate hate walking around my own house feeling vaguely scared of nothing#and feeling vaguely angry. and vaguely nauseous and terrified etc etc#like enough !!!!!!!!!#i have no idea how long they're gonna keep me on their therapy waiting list so atp i might go private#bc i feel like im going insane#the depression is honestly manageable bc ive been through it before#but this overhanging wrongness is disturbing me so very deeply that im losing my mind#and i cant sleep !!!!! bc i either cry or i get angry or i get paranoid abt the past#or even worse i try to piece together the past (never ends well)#but whatever ! im going to hamburg the day after tomorrow and i know that will be a nice temporary distraction 👍
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Not gonna lie to y'all, I do still think of that one collab and how I didn't get my piece back from it, and it does make me a bit sad.
#life gets in the way ik#i refused to spoil it for myself and ig it was a good thing bc now i dont know what i missed out on lol#im glad others got all theirs though#thats a positive for sure#im also hoping this is vague posting enough#bc i do NOT want the person to see this and feel bad#like i dont hold that up agaisnt them at all#bc yeah im disapointed but i cant say ive never been in the same situation as them before#itll be a one time thing so its nothing to fuss over
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Fact about me that will only be understood and potentially found amusing by a niche amount of people: oddly, the first Vocaloid project I found myself getting into was Shuuen no Shiori and then Kagerou Project. I clicked on a Kagerou Days thumbnail thinking it was a PART of Shuuen no Shiori, lol.
#dee p thoughts#music series#shuuen no shiori#kagerou project#vocaloid#I find myself curious and wanting to dig into more series but ah...Ill have to go out of my way and look into it sometime lol#these projects are music first story second at the end of the day when youve consumed enough you gotta realize none of these will be#particularly stellar at the very least you can wish them to be barely comprehensible but even then lololol#ironically I dont know if this would be a hot take but I think shuuen no shiori IS more comprehensible and tangible in meaning than kagerou#project adlkjbnadfkjn- hey shout out to my mikagura school suite fans what was that lol#admittedly theres some shorter ''series'' nowadays that are more solid but Im not sure if Id call them series and/or theyre intended to be#as opposed to just...songs that are connected to each other with a storyline. my distinctor is that theyre very brief#like nilfruits with shama kilmaa and aranjando(sp?) theyre very solid but Im not sure if theyre an intended SERIES its only 3 songs#theres also the color series from hiiragi kirai but I...theres something going on there but its very vague not sure if they seriously want#to do anything with that ajdlknbfdakljn#and then yuri kuriyama with neurosis ope and vital sign ah...#I feel like projects are technically still here but also at the same time not its very interesting haha#theres also milgram but admittedly my feelings towards it are kind of. *shrugs* eh#anyways reader if you wanted another series to get into I recommend alien stage its the most solid series Ive been into imo and its a#current running one!!! I REALLY LIKE IT AHHH#I FORGOT ABOUT ROYAL SCANDAL UWAGHHH I enjoy that one too lol
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ok good news, just had a really good conversation with my mirror and decided im still unwell about her 👍
#i have more thoughts about 2 pages in btbatb than i do about the entire first issue of kt ravager#its like vaguely out of character for her to be able enough to voice her feelings like that#especially to someone she doesnt know very well#but i dont even care#because YES rose with complicated views on killing <3#rose wanting to do the right thing and essentially using the justice league as her moral compass <3#rose leaving the team the minute she starts to realize it doesnt align with her view of the world <3#i hope her leaving stormwatch is permanent bc i dont. LOVE her on that team.#but also ive been spoiled recently by getting TWO roses in one month#so if she leaves..... what if i dont get to see her anymore
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every fandom ive been in always has people who engage in so much fandom discourse and like 9 times out of 10 I fully agree with their opinion but they’re just. so mean about it
#how can someone be so mean that i (person who literally agrees with them) feel hurt?#kinda fucked up if you ask me#why are there people like this in EVERY fandom. why is that#also these are the same people who start the discourse. they say they aren’t but they’re always the ones who make vague rude posts about#random posts in the general tag that they are probably just not the target audience for#in most of the fandoms ive been in it was just kids like that which still sucks but also sometimes it’s adults? which is so weird to me?#why are people like this why do people CHOOSE to be mean#I mean for some of it it was because it was on twitter and twitter is Twitter but still why do people have to be mean on there#I have not looked at that wretched site for YEARS now and holy shit is my fandom experience (and life in general) is better for it#this is. kind of a vent i guess? i’ll tag it as one just in case lol#vent#also ive blocked all these people lol dw#I guess some i don’t have blocked because they make funny shitposts and aren’t SUPER mean but I ignore them when they’re not being funny#which is usually easy enough
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i feel like tumblr is trying to tell you something /hj
HEAD IN MY HANDS CHAT IM NOT. CHAT. HEY. COME ON NOW.
#I FEEL LIKE IF ANYTHING WAS WIRED THAT WAY?? IN ME???? I KINDA WOULDVE KNOWN SOONER?#and also it might have an actual source???#ive been through like. one traumatic event in my life#and yeah SURE okay my brain latched onto a bunch of guys during it but. waving my hand vaguely that doesn't count /hj#somethings going on in this ol brain of mine#undiagnosable really.#it is so funny to me though?? bc two of the characters i latched onto hard enough i can See And Hear Them Irl At Times#are like. edward hyde and vir us#who are possibly the WORST people possible to have embedded in your psyche /hj#so. how about we just throw the suitcase away on that point#im like. a spirit medium. there Are multiple people in this relationship but its more like they gotta speak through me#and also if i get possessed and spend a solid five minutes not blinking again#then uh. simply par for the course /hj
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Stheno Headcanon: Skewed Perspectives
There is very little known about the true circumstances of Stheno's creation among humans. She herself can certainly not remember it, even if she had any such desire to reflect on the first few decades of her life again.
The closest hint she has is that saying more repeated so often - that she was the epitome to everything men could desire. She can't even distinguish it as something she's simply heard; it has become truth itself for her.
She's never considered questioning this tale of origin because it's only ever lined up with what she's seen and experienced. Ever since she could remember she was just that - desired. For some, it was as something to spoil and love, but it was not always so pure.
She truly does hate men
She might have seen this differently if she lived freely among humans - and not as some doll to be passed down and used. ( Though, with ample time, she was usually the ones using them. )
Her exile to the shapeless isles did not do very much to change her perspective. In fact, she would continue to see the worse of them - those who would wander into strange lands in desperation for her and her sister.
To her, the virtuous ones are among the few; so she has no issue sending those who bow at her feet on impossible quests. Not when all of them would rather claim her for themselves.
#Epitome of Desire [ Stheno ]#misandry cw#i guess there are like a million other things i could tag this with really#but i feel like ive been vague enough ??#ask to tag //
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man.
#i had this whole post ive been trying to formulate for so so long. abt my issues w ceewilbur and ccwilburisms and#to clarify i do like cwilb he is one of my faves. ik it may seem i wanna bite his arm off smtimes and i Do but#its mostly bitterness directed to the stuff Around him if that makes sense. yk the response to lots abt him#the way the overcompensation abt how he can be villanized swinging into a state where he Cant and never Did and wrong and if you critique#or acknowledge it you get snipped at and demeaned and treated like its a targeted hit on the mentally ill when its like#a mild disagreement with one of the most popular characters in the fanbase Easily#and w cc wil i do think he is just sm guy. im sure he's a nice dude idrc abt the ccs usually but he seems alright enough even tho he has v#goofy ahh takes and opinions but that doesnt make you Evil#but when i dive into what really has made me feel so alienated and snippy its. llmao its the racism yeah lol its super very much the racism#its very very prevelent and very common and very unchallenged. and it like. upsets me so bad its why i keep bailing on making my actual#full detailed post abt it. cuz everytime i try to formulate my thoughts i just get upset and frustrated i wanna rip my hair out#its hard not to feel like im talking to a wall when its so common and unchecked and. ive seen rightful critiques of these spaces and how#ppl interact with them Openly Mocked and brushed aside and treated like 'petty sensative internet drama' that ppl need to 'just get over'#sorry man im a fucking 🇲🇽 i cant exactly log off and Stop Experiencing Racism. and sorry that me feeling alienated and tired and sad abt#it is an inconvenience for you llol#and like idk. im not upset w anyone in particular this isnt a call out post or vague who give a shit and.#eh maybe im stupid but i really really believe a lot of ppl arent doing it on purpose#its just bein parroted ik i get it but#am i rlly not allowed to be tired? why should it feel like my responsibility to hold ppls hand and go hey mb treat poc and darker skinned#ppl like ppl. maybe you should examine why you need so many things made palatable to you through conventionally attractive whiteness first#idk. idk!!! am i crazy who fucking knows#but it has been weighing on me stupid style so bad#the shrinking fanbase and primarily yk common stragglers has just. rlly felt like a magnifying glass to my already existing issues abt it#idk man. idk im tired and im at work its 100°+ and my head hurts so this is all yr getting. lea me alone#and again this isnt a vague who Cares. just wanted to get it off my chest finally#huri.txt#discourse#<- ig
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someones really out here lighting fireworks at 2:37am. girl what are you doing
#when im at my moms place i feel like i live in the best most peaceful place ever (despite the lousy neighbours)#but when im at my dads i feel like ive been dropped directly into a storm or something#theres always people walking about during the day and at night theres a lot of people going out to the bars near our building#so a lot of random stuff ends up happening really late at night#its fun in a way but also kind of bothersome?? like the one employee at one of the bars who has built in speakers in his car#and the speakers are like top grade speakers too so when he blasts them at 3am for no reason its EXTRA annoying#at my moms we had the one guy who would spend the whole morning every sunday fixing up his car#and hed put classic metal music loud enough that you could hear from your apartment but bc it wasnt the same top grade speakers the guy#at my dads block has you could only vaguely hear the music echoing so it was actually really nice#to me at least. im sure someone was bothered by it in some way#i really like both neighborhoods though. even though my moms landlord sucks i really like living there#i have. many stories from my dads neighborhood too. funny stories. weird stories.#like the cup filled with mmisterious yellow liquid (i called it schrodingers cup bc you couldnt tell if it was piss or beer unless you#went over to it and sniffed it/tasted it and ofc noones gonna do that)#theres the time i saw some random thing in the grass football field we have near here and went over to it very excitedly#and i was with my partner so i talked to him like ''LOOK DAN A RANDOM EMPTY CHOCOLATES BOX WHATS IT DOING HERE!!!!!''#and he answered me with ''you know this is probably a marker for some kind of drug dealing'' and i was. very shocked.#hmmm the time i went out with my friends to the suppermarket to buy ingredients for lunch#and we ended up lazying around under some random block and these cats came over to us#and we played with them it was very nice#the time i went out to get coffee with my partner and we sat down in the benches and i picked out a cool bottle cap from the floor......#im getting really sad reminiscing now. i miss my friends so much. i miss my partner so much.....#((it hasnt been that long since we met we literally went out on saturday but i still MISS THEM bc i love them all so much.........))#we should go out again this week... maybe i could even go on and outing just me and my partner#we could grab coffee together again..... maybe ill even get coffee instead of panicking and just getting a brownie like the last time...#i dunno. anyways. living the teenage dream. etcetera. sorry this blogs supposed to be exclusively loserposting about my hyperfixations but#i like talking about my life and shit. ill get back to churning out posts about my silly anime men in a little bit i promise.#talk
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I saw a post the other day that kinda pushed back on the way all coming of age movies are about sexuality and all high school stories basically center around who wants to fuck who and how that's like. Not really all coming of age and high school stories should offer since you know. Youth isn't about who you have a crush on and probably coming of age stories in particular should be far more diverse in subject matter than they are.
Honestly as someone who, when I was 'coming of age' age, hated coming of age stories and still do for the exact reason listed above (see the weird scene in It where we all sexualize a 13 year old girl because boys have crushes and surely there's no other way to portray this than feeling a child up with a camera to demonstrate boys have ~feelings~ Bev gets no equivalent scene because she's the object of affection rather than the subject feeling desire) I also wish there was diversity in those stories. And coming of age stories about adults- we don't stop going through huge life moments that change everything forever, but back to kids. When I was a kid I could have desperately used a coming of age story where the character has a sick and dying parent who does die by the end of the story and what happens after that. Granted I did just fine without it, but even without being asexual it's always irked me that coming of age stories don't seem to appreciate that kids have way larger problems and way better stories to tell then first crushes and first kisses for shit sake give kids who went through what I did as a kid some kind of story about what happens when your parent gets cancer and how complicated that is and stop assuming the biggest thing that happens around puberty is discovering sexuality that, if you were queer, you probably already noticed what you felt wasn't in a coming of age story anyway.
#winters ramblings#id actually LOVE to see a coming of age story about an immigrant child moving to a new country#and have the coming of age center around THAT instead of these bizarre vaguely adult explorations of sexuality#that honestly ive never related to anyway like maybe the allos get it but even THEY deserve more diversity in stories#SURELY even your local allos have a dad dying of cancer they desperately need to know what to do with#like deadass a therapist told me at 26 i was robbed as a child because of what i went through and i STILL cry when i think of that#but no coming of age is all sex shit because children according to adults dont have real issues#which tells me adukts writing the stories are MASSIVELY privileged or stunted by execs or straight up assune kids wont watch#a REAL coming of age story. also i want a coming of age story about a 40 year old who is going through a career change#and the struggles that come with late career change. the benefits of a late career change. all the complicated family goo around all this#just give me decent stories that arent too focused on fycking RELATIONSHIPS for once. have them there sure i dont care#but for FUCK sakes can we stop pretending a 13 year olds biggest concern us who they have a crush on??#my dad was DEAD and i knew only one other person who lost her mom way younger than me at 8#we did not understand each other and how could we when our situations were so different. BOTH of us were so highly alienated#because NO ONE not even each other could relate to a lot if the people around us. the only thing we DID have in common#was the sick feeling we got when someone would bitch about their parents having fair expectations or not giving them literally everything#we both had an 'at least you HAVE parents to hokd you to reasonable standards and all you do is SQUANDER it' even if our feelings werent#faur to our peers anymore than their feelings were fair to us. wheres the coming of age story about THAT#tell me a story about a 16 year old whos mom has been dead HALF her life already like my friend. i was lucky enough not to deal with that#until i was 24. she deserved better out if high school and coming of age stories too. believe it or not kids have REAL lives and problems#and im SO tired of no one writing anything but some sad kids books about it even if the books are SOMETHING to start with#like for shit sakes must NICEthat the worst thing YOU went through was realizing you had a sexuality but my queer ass#ALWAYS knew i was different and highschool highlighted that a BUNCH so unless we're exploring aroace teens that doesnt appeal either#great yet ANOTHER story about straight teenagers because THEYRE the ones who need guidance on how to express themselves#like they dont see strsight people storoes and sexuality EVERYWHERE plus the ACTUAL opportunity to date in high school#that most queer kids dont get or dont get in the same way. why is THAT the only story being told when its the most saturated and BORING#and also ignores that kids have REAL issues and NO angency. explore THAT. do ANYTHING but yet another fucking coming of age story#about straight kids having crushes on each other and thats IT like come on SERIOUSLY
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